G-Spot Lies Your Doctor Told You

My husband recently reported to me that my G-Spot moves around.

This man has made love to me at least once a week for the last 20 years, but he comes up to me, seemingly serious, to announce this information as though he’s Moses on the Mount. He says he found the information on Wikipedia.

He hates it when I prove him (and his sources) wrong.

But I did it anyway.

You see, about two years into our relationship, I had an abnormal pap smear, and had to have cryotherapy. At the time, the doctors, without the aid of any blood test, assumed my abnormal cervical cells were because of hpv (human papillomavirus), which is sexually transmitted. They almost caught hubby in this web of deceit by trying to convince him that he was the one transmitting it to me, and wanted him to undergo laser surgery on his penis. He would have none of it, and, in retrospect, it was probably a wise choice—he followed his gut instinct and stood by it, although I have to admit I resented his indifference to my health at the time (I was still rather naïve).

I underwent the cryotherapy to avoid cervical cancer.

From the beginning of the procedure, the doctor lied to me. “You have no nerve endings on the cervix, so this might be a little uncomfortable, but you won’t feel any pain,” he said, after showing me the little white places on my cervix through a special scope. Not only did the procedure produce real, live pain, but it produced so much pain I couldn’t stand up by myself for several hours.

Since I’ve always been very attuned to how my body feels, I noticed right away (as soon as the pain was gone and we could resume normal sexual activity) that I couldn’t have Mothers or Grandmothers anymore. My husband and I had realized early in our sexual forays that I have three main levels of orgasm: normal orgasms, which are something akin to what clitoral masturbation produces, Mother orgasms, which are much more intense than normal orgasms, and Grandmother orgasms, which involve so much of my body that the most intense one I ever had actually made me briefly lose consciousness (okay, I was MUCH younger then, and our love making was a lot more intense).

The trauma to my cervix from the cryotherapy was so great that I couldn’t experience the best two kinds of orgasms I normally have for nearly a year!

It was during this time that I realized that my primary “g-spot” is my cervix, and I find it difficult to believe that any other region of a woman’s uterus reacts the same way. Considering how thoughtful Mother Nature has been in organizing our bodies, the cervix—which is where She wants the sperm to travel through, after all, would seem to be the most logical spot to make so sensitive that women desire having it prodded regularly.

Yet, here in 2006, we still have so-called authorities who still cannot agree on what a “g-spot” is, let alone WHERE it is. Granted, hubby used Wikipedia. While I applaud Wikipedia’s efforts at egalitarian “scholarship,” the fact still remains that anyone can post information to it. Men, you should note, especially if you haven’t figured this out already, are not good sources of information about what causes women to have orgasms. Face it. We sometimes fake it, and most men can never tell the difference.

The documentary series, The Human Animal, verified for me what I had known since that year of the bad pap: the cervix is intricately involved in women’s orgasms. The film footage of a woman’s cervix dipping down into the pool of sperm was indeed ground breaking photography of an actual orgasm in progress. As far as I know, it is the only film footage of its kind. While Desmond Morris might be too thick to figure out why humans love the taste of sweet things (apparently, he never sucked on any woman’s lactating breasts; breast milk is sweet!), he did find out what mechanically is happening in a woman’s body during at least one kind of orgasm.

About the time of my cryotherapy, I met a married woman who had never had an orgasm (she was in her late twenties) until she had an affair. The topic came up because she had known I’d had the treatment on my cervix, and in my anguish I had admitted that sex was just not the same. She raved about the orgasms she was now having with her lover (divorce was on the horizon, she admitted). Her descriptions of her new found sexual glory clearly indicated that this man, as opposed to her husband, was reaching further into her vagina. Instead of the standard “missionary position,” they were experimenting and finding new depths. I told her my theory about the cervix’s role in orgasm, and she readily agreed.

I believe most women can have orgasms, even if they have yet to experience any, and I think many women are fortunate to have multiple orgasms.

In case you are interested in experimenting to see if you can have orgasms, if you can have more orgasms than you usually do, or if you can have more intense orgasms, I recommend:

1. always have intercourse with at least a semi-full bladder; the pressure of the bladder on the cervix and vagina increases the possibilities of having the penis actually stroke the cervix (when my doctor did a sonogram of my uterus, she required me to have a full bladder for the same reason—the whole genital area is more available lower down when the full bladder pushes it down);

2. try something other than the missionary position, or, if you insist on the missionary, prop your bottom up on several pillows and insist your lover lean as far forward as he can, so that he’s bearing his weight mostly on his arms and with his thighs; when his knees are right up against your buttocks, the penetration won’t be deep enough for Grandmothers;

Warning about Woman on Top: I can’t do this position often because my cervix is so sensitive that my orgasms become extremely intense, and I literally get light headed. If you are a woman who doesn’t have strong orgasms often, this position might be the ideal position to change the frequency and duration of your orgasms.

3. monitor your peak times of the month for sexual activity and try to work it out with your husband or lover to have sex more often during the times when sex feels best for you, and less often when it doesn’t. If he is insisting on having sex even during times when your need is low or it just isn’t making you feel good, you will end up not wanting to have sex as often, which will be bad for both of you all the way around;

4. avoid using condoms or intravaginal devices to prevent pregnancy; if the man’s penis head cannot touch the cervix, much of the sensation will be lost. So you’ll have to make sure you’re both disease free and have access to other kinds of birth control (see further below).

Oh yes, in case you were wondering: I finally insisted that my doctor give me the blood test for hpv; I don’t have it, and probably never did, although the doctor insists, now, that my immune system probably “threw it off.” While that is a possibility, I also now know that I am intensely allergic to latex, which is, of course, what most condoms are made of. I believe it is very likely that my latex allergies resulted in my cervical abnormalities—kind of like a rash on my cervix.

Hubby and I have long since stopped using condoms or latex diaphragms for birth control, and it is probably a good thing, especially given the fact that I have had students who are store clerks who have admitted to poking needles through condom boxes “for fun.” I reminded them that condoms prevent diseases and pregnancy both, but they still refused to see any harm in compromising the integrity of such products. Typical prudish Midwesterners, their responses were, “well, they shouldn’t be having sex anyway.”

I recommend that condom manufacturers sell their products in tins, not card board boxes.

Since I gave birth to our son twelve years ago, hubby and I have used Vaginal Contraceptive Film (vcf; the film is made up of spermicide, which is folded and placed directly over the cervix) for our birth control choice.

My current gynecologist isn’t happy with the choice because she claims it only has a 75% success rate, but it has worked well for us all these years. One thing that could make the vcf more effective for some really fertile women would be to have an additional small film cap to adhere to the man’s penis with his preseminal fluid. Using both the vcf and a penis film cap should bring the rate of pregnancy prevention up considerably, and such birth control film doesn’t expose either sex partner to latex. Vcf does not prevent diseases, however, so remember that important point when choosing a birth control that is best for you.

Sex is an important part of feeling vital and alive for many people. As long as we treat each other with respect, including ourselves, everyone should be able to enjoy their sexual gifts.

Have fun finding your “g-spot”!